One of the most frightening situations in a divorce is knowing you need an attorney but believing you cannot afford one. Perhaps your spouse earns most of the household income, controls the bank accounts, handles the investments, or owns the business that generates the family’s money. You might have spent years raising children, supporting your spouse’s career, or managing the household. Now, the marriage is ending, and you are wondering how you can possibly hire a divorce lawyer when you do not have access to the money.

Meanwhile, your spouse may already have an attorney. This can leave you feeling as though you have no choice but to represent yourself or agree to whatever settlement your spouse proposes. However, just because your spouse controls the money does not necessarily mean you must go through a divorce without legal representation.

In many states, legal procedures exist that may allow you to ask the court to order your spouse to contribute toward your attorney fees while the divorce is pending. The key is understanding your options and knowing where to start.

1. Don’t assume you cannot hire an attorney because you don’t have the entire retainer

One of the biggest mistakes people make is assuming they must have enough money to pay for their entire divorce before contacting a lawyer. Most divorce attorneys who charge hourly fees require an initial deposit, commonly called a retainer. The amount varies depending on the attorney, the complexity of the case, and the anticipated work. However, an initial retainer is not necessarily the total amount your divorce will ultimately cost.

If you cannot afford the initial deposit, consider whether you have access to any lawful sources of funds, such as:

• Personal savings or money in an account you can legally access.
• Financial assistance from a trusted friend or family member.
• A credit card or other responsible financing option.
• A legitimate loan that you can reasonably afford to repay.
• Your own income or other available resources.

Do not empty joint accounts, conceal marital assets, or incur substantial debt without first understanding the possible legal consequences. Even if you can only obtain enough money for an initial deposit, that may allow you to retain an attorney who can evaluate whether temporary financial assistance is available through the court.

You should also ask about limited-scope representation, legal aid, or local lawyer referral programs if a traditional retainer remains beyond your reach.

2. Ask an attorney about filing a motion for temporary attorney fees

This is where many people do not realize they may have an option. In numerous states, a spouse can ask the court to order the other spouse to contribute toward attorney fees while a divorce is pending. In some jurisdictions, this request is made through a pendente lite motion, often abbreviated as a PDL motion. Pendente lite simply means “while the litigation is pending.” Other states use terms such as temporary orders, interim attorney fees, or suit money.

Whatever the terminology, the general idea is that a spouse who lacks access to sufficient financial resources may be able to request assistance with the cost of legal representation before the divorce is finalized.

For example, suppose your spouse earns $250,000 annually, controls the household bank accounts, and has already retained an attorney. You have been out of the workforce for several years and have very little money available. Depending on your state’s laws and the circumstances of your case, your attorney may be able to ask the court to order your spouse to contribute toward your reasonable legal expenses.

You do not necessarily have to wait until the divorce is over to request attorney fees. That distinction can make an enormous difference.

3. What if your spouse says they will never pay for your lawyer?

Your spouse might tell you that if you want a divorce, you will have to figure out how to pay for it yourself. They might also insist that because they earned the money, they have no obligation to help you obtain legal representation. Statements like these can discourage people from even exploring their legal options, but your spouse does not necessarily get the final say.

Depending on state law, income earned and assets acquired during the marriage may constitute marital property, even when only one spouse’s name appears on an account or paycheck. Courts may also have authority to address financial disparities between spouses during pending divorce proceedings.

For example, California Family Code Section 2030 addresses access to legal representation through need-based attorney-fee awards. Similarly, Illinois law provides a procedure for requesting interim attorney fees during certain domestic relations proceedings.

The specific requirements differ from state to state, but the important point is that your spouse’s refusal to voluntarily help with legal expenses does not necessarily prevent you from requesting assistance from the court.

4. How do you actually get the court to help pay your attorney fees?

The process varies by jurisdiction, but there are several practical steps you can take to explore this option.

Step one: Meet with a divorce attorney. Explain your financial situation and be straightforward about your income, the money you can access, the assets you believe exist, and whether your spouse controls the household finances. Tell the attorney if you are concerned about paying the initial retainer or continuing to fund the case. Ask specifically whether temporary attorney fees are available in your jurisdiction.

Step two: Discuss the initial deposit. If you can obtain enough money for an initial retainer, your attorney may be able to begin representing you and evaluate the possibility of requesting additional fees through the court. Make sure you understand the fee agreement. A possible future award of attorney fees is not a guarantee that the court will order your spouse to pay, and you should understand your own financial obligations.

Step three: Gather available financial information. Your attorney will likely need information about the parties’ respective financial circumstances. Helpful records may include recent tax returns, bank and investment statements, pay stubs, business income information, mortgage statements, household expenses, retirement accounts, credit card balances, and outstanding debts.

Do not worry if you cannot obtain everything. If your spouse controls the records, your attorney may be able to seek the necessary information through formal discovery and other lawful procedures.

Step four: Have your attorney evaluate filing the motion. Your attorney can determine whether to request temporary attorney fees, what evidence is required, and how much financial assistance to seek. Depending on the jurisdiction, the request may be included with other temporary matters, such as financial assistance, responsibility for household expenses, or temporary parenting arrangements.

Step five: Attend the hearing if one is required. The court may consider the parties’ financial circumstances, their access to money, the reasonableness of the requested fees, and other factors required by state law. If the court grants the request, it may order your spouse to contribute a specified amount toward your attorney fees, subject to the terms of the order. An award is not automatic, and the court may grant less than the amount requested or deny the motion.

5. What if you have absolutely no money for an initial retainer?

This is a particularly difficult situation, but you should still explore your options. Start by contacting divorce attorneys and explaining the circumstances rather than assuming nobody will speak with you. Ask whether the attorney offers a paid consultation, limited-scope services, a payment arrangement, or another lawful option for beginning representation.

You can also investigate local legal aid organizations, your state or local bar association’s lawyer referral service, nonprofit organizations that provide legal assistance to qualifying individuals, and court self-help resources. Depending on your jurisdiction, you may also be permitted to request temporary attorney fees or other interim financial relief while representing yourself.

The Legal Services Corporation provides information about finding civil legal aid in the United States. You may also find useful resources through the American Bar Association’s Free Legal Answers program, depending on availability and eligibility in your state.

The important thing is to investigate your options before concluding that you have none.

6. You may need more than attorney fees

When one spouse controls the money, attorney fees may be only part of the problem. You may also be wondering how you will pay the mortgage, purchase groceries, maintain health insurance, or meet your children’s expenses while the divorce proceeds.

Depending on the applicable law, your attorney may be able to request additional temporary relief addressing those concerns. A court may have authority to establish temporary financial arrangements while the divorce is pending, rather than requiring you to wait until the final judgment. This is another reason to discuss your entire financial situation with an attorney at the beginning of the case.

7. What if your spouse has already hired an expensive divorce lawyer?

Do not assume that you must represent yourself simply because your spouse was the first to retain counsel. In many jurisdictions, courts can consider disparities in the parties’ financial resources and their respective abilities to obtain legal representation.

That does not mean the court must provide both spouses with identical legal budgets or require one spouse to pay every dollar of the other’s attorney fees. However, the fact that your spouse has substantial resources while you have limited access to money may be relevant to a request for temporary assistance. It is worth asking an attorney about this issue before making the decision to handle a complicated divorce alone.

8. Don’t wait until you are overwhelmed to explore your options

Divorce proceedings can move quickly. Financial disclosures may become due, temporary hearings may be scheduled, and important decisions concerning property, financial assistance, and parenting arrangements may arise early in the case. Waiting because you believe you cannot afford an attorney may make an already challenging situation more difficult.

If your spouse has filed for divorce, pay close attention to any deadlines for responding. Seeking legal representation does not automatically extend those deadlines. You do not need to know every answer before contacting an attorney. You simply need to explain your circumstances and ask what options may be available.

The bottom line: You may have more options than you think

If you are considering divorce but your spouse controls the money, do not automatically assume you are powerless to obtain legal representation. Start by speaking with an attorney, explain the financial situation, explore whether you can obtain an initial retainer, and ask whether your state’s laws permit a request for temporary attorney fees.

A PDL motion or comparable request for interim financial relief may provide a way to address the financial imbalance while your divorce is pending. There is no guarantee that a judge will order your spouse to contribute toward your legal expenses, but understanding that this option may exist can help you make a more informed decision about how to proceed.

You should not have to assume that the spouse who controls the checkbook also controls your ability to explore your legal rights.

For more educational information about divorce, financial issues, and domestic relations proceedings, visit Family Law Headquarters or call 855-5-FOR YOU.