When a divorce is taking place, a parent can often feel a need to hang on to their children. When someone is losing their spouse, it is a common occurrence for them to try to strengthen their relationship with their children.
Strengthening the relationship with the children is a positive thing when done appropriately, and should revolve around love and affection for the children. It should involve the parent and the children spending quality time together. It should be based on the reassurance that things are going to be okay and that they are still loved.
Some parents are tempted to spoil their children during the divorce instead. Some buy their children items or take them places to spend money on them. Instead, they should spend quality time with their children and share their unconditional love. Buying items for children and taking them places is not an altogether negative occurrence. These items and things can help build love, affection, and a deep relationship in some circumstances.
If there is no deep relationship or if unconditional love is not expressed, spoiling children during a divorce is harmful. It sends the children the wrong message. It can result in the children not feeling loved and accepted, but instead, make them feel bought.
Ultimately, this can be counter-productive to your children for the short and long-term of their psychological development. And if you are trying to have a deep relationship with your children, it can hurt you as well.
If you are going through a divorce with children, Stange Law Firm, PC can help. You can reach us at 1-855-805-0595.